Parenting Practices

"Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Our Heavenly Father has entrusted parents with a sacred responsibility.  He has given us His spirit children to love, teach, and raise during their mortal lives.  He expects us to influence them for good, and do our best to teach them gospel principles.

Some people believe that a child's personality and behaviors are part of their DNA.  They take no responsibility, saying "He/she was born this way".  Many studies disagree with this theory.  Studies done on adoption prove that while there are children that are predisposed to certain traits and behaviors, parenting has a great affect on those behaviors.  

Parenting researcher, Diana Baumrind said "Casual attributions that assign primary responsibility for child outcomes to genetic factors, the effect of which parents believe they cannot change, undermine parents' beliefs in their own effectiveness, where as parents' attribution of responsibility for their children's outcomes to parents' own actions is associated with more effective care giving, which in turn is associated with more positive child outcomes."

What does this mean?  It means that parent's take more responsibility when they believe that their parenting directly affects their child's outcome.  Because of this belief, they put more effort into their parenting and in turn, they have more positive outcomes.  The Proclamation to the Family agrees with this idea, stressing the importance of loving and teaching our children.

Some people believe that a child's peers have more influence over them than their parents do.  If a child feels loved and accepted by his/her parents, they will be more open to listening to advice.  Parents can lovingly provide advice and standards that will help children select good friends.  Children that feel loved and accepted have a stronger desire to please their parents, leading them to make good decisions more often.

There are four main parenting styles:

*authoritarian (coercive)

*permissive

*uninvolved/disengaged

*authoritarian

Authoritative parenting follows the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ.  Authoritative parenting creates a positive atmosphere that encourages communication between parents and children.  In authoritative parenting there is a high level of warmth between parents and children, but there are also high expectations.  When this warmth and love is present, children are more receptive to their parents' influence.  Authoritative parenting is done in love and respect, therefore it invites the Spirit to be present in the home.  

Elder Robert D. Hales taught, "The key to strengthening our families is having the Spirit of the Lord come into our homes."